Aylmer Express "MoHo" Extravaganza 2006

Have you ever gone without a cell phone for a while? Have you ever tried to travel without a cell phone? Well, that has been our situation for the last few days. I thought that maybe our phone wasn’t working because of our location. But after having the problem in three consecutive cities I figured it was something else causing the problem. Have you ever tried to straighten out a phone problem when you have no access to a phone to call anyone? It is the perfect storm for frustration to set in, let me tell ya. Here, I’ll give you a taste of what it was like to fix this problem.

I knew there was a problem because whenever I tried to make a call I got a recording from the phone company, Telus, saying that I needed to contact them. But when I tried to call they would put me on hold and tell me that there are longer than normal wait times. So there I am at a phone booth waiting for a live person and I finally get one. I tell them the problem and they ask me for my pin number. Since this phone is a work phone, I do not have the pin number. The person who handles the phone at work would have that. Then the phone company rep tells me that they cannot help me without the pin number. I then ask them if they can call the company I work for to get them number since I, obviously, cannot do so since my phone doesn’t work. The rep then tells me she can’t do that because they only have incoming phone lines. WHAT! Are you telling me that you are a phone company and you can’t make a phone call? Am I the only one who finds this fatuous? At this point we formulate plan ‘B’ which is to go to a Telus office in town, since we are heading that way anyway, and get them to help us. So, we get to the Telus office, speak with the rep there and she seems sympathetic to our cause. She looks up my phone number on her computer and there is no information … it is all blocked. So she calls into Telus support and finds out that my phone has been suspended by my company. This seems strange since I had made arrangements with the person who handles the phones before I left to use it while I am gone and I had not heard from her. So, we ask the Telus rep if she can call my office so we can rectify the situation since my phone is not working. She tells me she can’t do that since they only have 2 phone lines into the building. WHAT! Are you sure you work for a phone company? What is going on? Have I entered some kind of parallel dimension where the phone companies are no longer able to call anyone? Anyway, at this point we formulate plan ‘C’ which is to contact the person at my company who handles the phones and figure out what is going on. We gather our change to make a call from a phone booth. We then have to find a phone booth that is neither busy or in a loud area. Then we try to make a call. They ask for $2.20 for the first minute!!! After my initial heart attack I start thinking that I should maybe start my own phone company. I grudgingly put the money in and make my call. I don’t have the phone number of the person who handles the phone but I am hoping to reach another co-worker and get them to call me back. Unfortunately I get voicemail so I hit a key that will take me to the main switchboard at work. Just as they answer the phone, the phone company asks me for 50 more cents. I quickly put the money in only to hear the main switchboard person hang up! There, $2.20 down the drain. The phone actually gave me the 50 cents back … thanks a lot. So now my eye is starting to twitch as I try not to punch the phone. I then decide to see if I can get a prepaid phone card since I don’t have enough change for a phone booth and it cannot be nearly as expensive. So, I go to a gas station across the street and they sell these phone cards, however, the smallest one they have available is one for $20. At this point I don’t care and I just buy it. The person selling it to me is very nice and gives me some pointers on how to use it which is helpful. I then go to a phone booth at this gas station to try it out and after performing all the steps required the phone company tells me that the card is expired! Now both my eyes are starting to twitch. I head back into the gas station and tell them what happened and the sales person offers to buy the calling card back from me which I accept.. I then make my way across the street to another gas station where I ask for a calling card and they ask me which kind. I say what are my choices and they show me a catalogue with about 20 different company’s offerings. I ask them which one is the cheapest and they say that it depends on where you are calling. I ask them which one is most popular and they finally narrow it down to three different options. They then ask me how much I want to buy. Finally I just pick five dollars worth of the first one she mentioned. Instead of getting a card I get a receipt which has a bunch of numbers on it which I can use to make a phone call. Finally I am back to the original phone booth, When I go to make the call I find out that I need to put in 25 cents to make the local call required to make the phone call. Arrrggghhh! So I do it and FINALLY I am able to phone work and get through to my co-worker Nanci! YES! Success! When I ask Nanci if she can put me through to MJ, who handles the phones, Nanci tells me that MJ doesn’t work there anymore. Now things are starting to make sense. Nanci gets me some phone numbers and email addresses of people who will hopefully be able to help me and I send and leave messages accordingly. That closes this chapter for today. Lots of excitement, plenty of progress. Phone still does not work.

Anyway, one thing we were able to find today is a café/restaurant which has free wireless internet access … YES! The Bread Co. in downtown Kelowna is the place. If you find yourself in Kelowna definitely head to Bernard St. and give then some business. They have great food and great prices and the staff is incredibly friendly. Oh, and did I mention that they have free internet access? Anyway, while I was diligently uploading text and photos to the blog to keep the throngs happy, Chantal and the kids got wise and decided to head off to one of the tennis courts we saw on yesterday’s ride and play around there while they were waiting for me. They finished up at almost the exact same time that I finished up. Then we decided to seek out the hiking and biking trails along some abandoned railway lines. However, on our way there we passed one vineyard too many and we found the car turning into the parking lot for a little wine tasting. It turned out that they had a restaurant with a baby grand piano and they let André-Paul go to town. The employees and patrons alike gathered around to watch A-P at work. They were duly impressed and some offered him money! I think this got A-P’s entrepreneurial juices flowing. Anyway, Chantal and I enjoyed the selection of red, white, sparkling and ice wines that we tried and ultimately ended up buying a couple of bottles. We then placed a call to my former co-worker, Ron, who now lives in Kelowna. Of course, the call would have come much earlier if I had a functioning phone. The people at the winery allowed me to use theirs. We managed to get in touch with him live and arranged to pop by for an after dinner visit. They have a fabulous home up in the hills of Kelowna. We got a chance to meet Justine, a new addition to the family since I last saw Ron in Ottawa. And we also saw that Ron’s wife, Chantal (nice name, eh?), has a little sister or brother on the way for Justine as well. It seems like the pleasant environment they have been enjoying in Kelowna since leaving Ottawa three and a half years ago has done wonders for the size of their family. Or maybe there just isn’t as much to do there? Just kidding, that obviously can’t be the case given the world class skiing, lovely wineries, beautiful Lake Okanagan, and the gorgeous weather. Next time we are in town, Ron, I will do my best to give you guys a call a little earlier.

Today's word:

fatuous \FACH-oo-uhs\, adjective:
1. Inanely foolish and unintelligent; stupid.
2. Illusory; delusive.