Aylmer Express "MoHo" Extravaganza 2006

Once again we find ourselves leaving a place we would rather spend a little more time. Kelowna is a beautiful town with many more interesting things to see and do. But you can’t see and do everything I suppose. And maybe it is better to leave on those terms. It is definitely better than leaving wishing you had spent a little less time there. Today we are off to Hope, British Columbia. Which means that we will be heading out of the Okanagan Valley and back into the Rocky Mountains again as we continue our journey toward Vancouver and the Pacific Ocean. We had a choice of two different ways to go. Our decision was made after a chance conversation that Chantal had with a gentleman at a gas station. He recommended the southern route since he said it was more scenic. Chantal inquired about the steepness of the hills along that route which he said were likely less steep than the northern, and more popular way. So, based on this info, we decided to take the road less traveled. I don’t think Chantal was ready for what the Rockies still had left. There was no question that it was a scenic drive. All the way down to Penticton was along the beautiful Okanagan Lake. Then it was still nice as we made our way into the mountains again past Olalla (great name, eh?). And all the way up to Keremeos where we enjoyed another MoHo lunch stop. However, after that, the drive took on a decidedly more stressful tone. The hills started getting steeper and the downward slopes curvier. Then we finally came to the mother of all grades … although we didn’t know it just yet because of the curves on the way up. The poor old JoRo MoHo dropped into third gear as the speed descended below 80 km/h (50 mph) as was usual on the uphill climbs. Then our little MoHo slowly lost velocity while struggling to drag itself and the Matrix up the side of this mountain. Soon we saw 60 km/h (37 mph) and the MoHo reached down for second gear. Still not unprecedented but it gets your attention. I thought we were nearing the crest of the hill as we rounded the corner only to see the longest straight uphill grade so far on our trip. The grade had not changed and you could hear the MoHo’s mighty V-10 continuing its high-revving wail in hopes that it could find the power needed to make it to the top. It started to remind me of the old fable, the little engine that could. But would it work out the same? Or would we find ourselves on the side of the road most of the way up one of the highest mountain roads in BC with smoke emanating from underneath and waiting for a tow truck? As we all watched the speedometer slowly drop like a setting sun on the dashboard we waited to see what would happen. Chantal asked if perhaps we should set the Matirx free and give the JoRo MoHo an even fight with this monster of a road. My testosterone was higher than usual by this point and the thought of admitting defeat in any form was not an option. With a peremptory wave I dismissed Chantal’s suggestion like a unwanted coffee refill as I concentrated on what might possibly happen next and how I might have to react. And it was about then that the unimagined became reality. The unthinkable came to pass. The JoRo MoHo just dropped into 1st gear! I’m not completely sure but I do not think there is a 0th gear so, unless we wanted to try reverse next, we were running short on transmission options. I started wondering lots of things. Things like, how long it takes a V-10 to overheat driving down (up?) a highway at close to maximum rpm?… and … If the transmission temperature gauge reaches 200, should I pull over? … and … if engine parts start to spew all over the road, will I start rolling backwards? Even as we started to reach the apex of this gargantuan grade we did not feel like we were out of the woods yet as we all were watching our speed continue to dwindle. I think I purposely did not look at the speedometer anymore instead my eyes bounced among the summit, the transmission temp gauge and the engine temp gauge in rapid succession. When we finally reached the point where our speed started to increase ever so slightly we knew we were going to be ok … as long as we didn’t encounter another one of those bad boys! There was a big sense of relief from all of us as we crested the little hill and it was reported to me that at the deepest, darkest part of the climb, the speed did dip to almost 20 km/h (12 mph) … ouch!
We all took deep breaths after that battle and allowed ourselves to feel better if not completely relaxed … that is until we started into some of the downhill sections. It is really hard to say which is scarier, not knowing if you have enough speed to make it up a hill or not knowing if you will be able to keep your speed down low enough to avoid flipping over in the corners on the way down. We used 3rd gear on all the downhill inclines but there was still a liberal amount of braking required to avoid the “runaway train” syndrome. The really unnerving part is the fact that the more you use your brakes, the less effective they become. It is a real balancing act all the way down. Should I slow myself a little more for this corner and pray that there is enough level-ish road ahead to let them cool down or should I conserve the brakes and hope that the corner is not that sharp and that there is not a tighter one just after it. Of course they have “Runaway Lanes” for those whose brakes are not being effective. This sounds reassuring until you actually see what a Runaway Lane really is. In case you haven’t seen one, it is a typically dirt lane off to the right-hand side that is built into the mountain on a left-hand corner. So the approach is pretty close to straight ahead. The idea is that if your brakes are not working properly and you can’t slow down enough to take the corner safely, you can drive off the main highway onto the Runaway Lane. This lane is designed to allow you to slow down without brakes. In other words, it looks pretty much like driving UP an Olympic Ski Jumping ramp! I am not sure what the plan is should you reach the top and I know I do not want to find out. But I must admit that it almost looks scarier that taking the mountain road without brakes. Perhaps what I found most humourous were the signs indicating the presence of these runaway lanes. Typically the first sign said, “Runaway Lane 1000 metres”. A 1,000 metres! A1,000 metres is a kilometre! If I don’t have any brakes I’d rather not be careening down a twisty mountain road for a kilometre before I try out one of those ski jumps! Then they would also typically have a second sign a half a kilometre down the road saying, “Runaway Lane 500 metres”. However, André-Paul put things in perspective for me as I was ranting about how ridiculous these signs seemed. A-P said that if you really had lost the use of your brakes these signs might be blowing by so fast that you would need to be told a kilometre ahead of time just to be ready for it. Good point … I sit corrected. In a nutshell (although I guess it is a little late for that now, eh?) we made it through all the ups and downs the Rockies had to throw at us and we arrived into Hope, safe and sound and ready for a long rest.

Today's word:

peremptory \puh-REMP-tuh-ree\, adjective:
1. Precluding or putting an end to all debate or action.
2. Not allowing contradiction or refusal; absolute; decisive; conclusive; final.
3. Expressive of urgency or command.
4. Offensively self-assured or given to exercising usually unwarranted power; dictatorial; dogmatic.